October 2012

Ethan just celebrated his 4th birthday. What a happy time to be with Ethan. We have spent the last 2 months evaluating Ethan for preschool services. He qualified for speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. We also have a hearing test next week. So, it's a difficult process. We knew to expect delays. Ethan learned English and a host of other things beginning at 27 months. He had to learn to snuggle and give kisses. He didn't know how to take a bath, and cuddle under the blanket and read a book. There were so many everyday things that kids in a loving family do that Ethan had to learn. I'm so glad he did, but there was a sadness to know that he didn't get those things in the orphanage. There is a deeper sadness to know that so many kids worldwide never get those things. Taking all of this into consideration, it's still difficult to have evaluations that tell me all he doesn't know yet. Overall, I am hopeful that some great professionals are going to help him do all that he can. Through all of the evaluations and testing, he has a great, charming attitude. He was cooperative for over 2 hours during the testing. He smiled and did his best. I think one of his greatest strengths is his "can-do" attitude.

July 2012

July 25, 2012 This is a long overdue update on our family. We just returned from the beach. I can't believe what a difference one year has made. Since our beach trip last year, Ethan is completely potty-trained, day and night. He has learned to swim and we worked so hard last summer to get him to just put his head under the water. What an accomplishment for him. He is starting 3 day preschool in the fall. He has fully recovered from his second hand surgery. It has been a joy to watch him blossom into a confident, playful preschooler.

Almost 3!

I can't believe that I am planning Ethan's first birthday party! He will be three next week. My children and I are so excited. I've had presents wrapped for days and he has not clue that they are his or that there is something exciting inside just for him.

We have had seen some big accomplishments this week. He has worn underwear with no accidents for a week. I knew he was ready and has known since we've been with him what to do on the potty, but he just refused in his own way to sit on the potty. He has a very polite refusal, saying "no thank you!" if he doesn't want to do something. So, I've waited and waited and now it's just easy! I'm one happy momma to be finished with diapers.

He has also said his name this week. We've asked and asked, "What's your name?" with no response. This week he says, "Ethan!" Once he said, "GuoQiang Greer." Rob and I are fine with him being GuoQiang if he wants to keep his Chinese name. I heard one mom say one time that her toddler preferred her Chinese name, so we've considered the possibility. We love both names.

Some days are still insecure days. On Friday morning, I could tell he was fussy and wanted to eat all morning. I took him in my room, cuddled up on the bed and watched "Cars" with him. The errands had to wait. The art project had to wait. Everything else was left undone, but who cares? I can tell when he just needs cuddling. And, honestly, it was good for mom to have a restful morning, too.

First Surgeries

Ethan had his first surgery last week. We planned to begin surgery on his right hand as soon as possible since it will likely take 3 surgeries to give him the best hand we can. I have been blessed to have 4 very healthy children. My oldest had tubes in his ears 13 years ago, but that is the extent of my experience with hospitals and recovery. Of course, Rob and I were nervous sending our little Ethan into surgery, but we knew that this was his path and part of why we brought him home.

I got Ethan appointents with one of the nation's top hand pediatric surgeons. He does a lot of teaching and speaking, so he chooses his cases, but it was one of the few things I could do during the long waiting between LOA (letter of acceptance) and TA (travel approval). During this point in the process, the paperwork is all hurry up and wait. The turn-around for paperwork is one or two days with weeks of waiting for the next step. I was glad to be "doing something" during this time. I'm a do-er, not a wait-er.

So, we go in very early for surgery. The doc schedules the youngest first and we were the youngest. Once the anaesthesiologist saw his tonsils, he called in the ENT. She recommended that we remove his tonsils and adenoids immediately after the hand surgery. Tonsils were on my list of concerns, but we had so many issues in the first two well-check visits. Before surgery, Ethan snored all night long, drooled constantly, really chewed his food and spit out a lot his meat. We thought the eating habits had to do with the orphanage, but the ENT said that his tonsils were so big, she didn't know how he was eating.

This was a very long day. During recovery, I sat beside Ethan as he ate Popsicles. As soon as he saw me, he began to cry and say "Mom, mom." It was pitiful. He rode to the room on my lap in a wheel chair wrapped up in a warm blanket. He spent the entire day on my lap, eating Popsicles and Jell0. He was distressed because the IV was wrapped up on the hand with the thumb that he sucks.
We were so glad when he was released and they could free that thumb.

Ethan will have a cast for 2 weeks. When we take it off, we will see his new pinky finger. The time at home has been tiring but wonderful. It has been a good bonding time. Ethan separates from me easier when I leave him with dad to go to the store. He gives kisses and hugs to my parents when they leave. His new words are "blanket, Popsicle and HAPPY."

The first time he said "happy," I said, "Are you happy?"

Ethan said, "Yes, happy!"

We have lots of Popsicles and ice-cream in the house and are working on setting the record for watching Walle and Cars. It didn't take long for me to get to that so exhausted feeling again. I forget how hard the travel was. It's just really easy for me to take on more than I can accomplish, but my children of all ages suffer when I do that. I'm so thankful for friends who bring meals and take older kids to do stuff. It's pretty hard for a 12 year-old to hang around the house for days and days eating ice-cream and watching movies. Also, for Mother's Day, my best gift was my husband taking the children off for the afternoon so that I could nap and relax. I feel totally recharged after my wonderful afternoon.

Overall, we are thankful that these surgeries are over and a week has already passed. Ethan is such a blessing to us and he continues to thrive beyond our expectations. Thank you, Jesus, for Ethan.

2 Months Home

This is a much overdue post. It seems that someone in the house has been sick for weeks and weeks. It has kept me busy. Currently, only one child has a bad case of poision ivy. It's so tempting to play in the woods when the weather turns warm. Hopefully, with nice weather on the horizon and Ethan's first surgery a month away, we will have a nice relaxing month.

Ethan sings and plays. He sings If You're Happy and You Know It. He says a few sentences. Two weeks ago he said, "I want Mommy." But a few days ago, he was playing while I was sewing, and he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, love you!" It was so incredibly precious. Our routine is pretty much the same. He is definately more comfortable at Gramma's house and Marmie and PaPa's house. He loves to go shopping in the grocery cart or the in the stroller. He's very content as long as family is close by. He loves playgrounds and climbing and sliding are great fun for him. He still sleeps with his shoes and loves to wear a bib.

I had a decade busting birthday last month. I was thinking about parenting a 2 year-old and some of the things that don't change. For example, it doesn't matter if I step into the kitchen to cook supper at 4:30 or 6:30, a two-year old is immediately STARVING and cranky. It's like the cue for fussy is mommy entering the kitchen. I still collapse as soon as it's bedtime. It's just as tiring chasing a 2 year-0ld. I don't think I'm any more tired than in my twenties. A stroll around the neighborhood in most any weather cures a bad mood, for mommy and baby. What's different? I don't worry about nearly as much silly stuff and I don't worry about the little stages that used to drive me crazy. Why do they take off their shoes in the car? Or insist on taking some toy along everywhere? and then losing it? I spend more time cuddling and playing, less time worrying about other stuff that needs to be done. I definately protect the naptime and bedtime better. Everyone is happier with a nap and a snack.

Overall, I think we are making the transition well. We still have many months to go, but overall, Ethan is just a joy and a blessing to our family.

5 Weeks Home

Today is a special day for Rob and I. We had our first date 24 years ago. We don't "celebrate" this anniversary, like do anything big, or exchange gifts, but we always remember that it's our first date anniversary. This year, I have to admit that I almost forgot. My husband had to remind me. Then I had to count up how many years ago. So when I was a sophomore in high school and Rob was a senior, a mutual friend, Lance Davis, said that he knew someone who liked me. Being dramatic, he didn't tell me who, only another senior, so my friend Lori and I rattled off the entire football team on the drive home. Her mom took us to school. When I found it was Robbie Greer, that science nerd from Advanced Chemistry, I thought, oh well. Maybe I'll get to go to the prom. I was sooo mature. Grin. Six weeks later, I was in love and we dated until we got married after college and joined him at graduate school. I would have never guessed that we would have 5 children and still be so in love. Yep! I still love him like I did in high school, except there's so much more to love about him now. He has been faithful when I doubted whether or not we would EVER save the money for the adoption; he has been steady and loving, my best friend. He's a good provider and great dad and he's loved me when I am pretty unloveable. Oh yes, I have my moments. It's never boring with his new interests like travel, guitar, golf, marathon running and cycling. My one and only was meant just for me!

Ethan update: Ethan has had good and bad days this week. I've seen more of the tantrums we saw in China, but not nearly so intense. One day was just one tantrum after another. We had only been awake for 2 hours and we were already in the stroller, cruising the neighborhood to try and improve the mood. After this day, I decided he needed a morning nap in addition to his afternoon nap. This has made a huge difference. It's a lot more napping than I would expect from a 2 and half year-0ld, but he is processing a lot of information all of time. I'm trying to introduce things slowly, but it seems like there is always a new situation or person to meet, or place to go. Overall, I think ( really hope ) that he's feeling comfortable enough to show some frustration and displeasure. I was prepared for an angry phase, but these tantrums seem to be normal toddler frustration. After all, he can't communicate his wants and needs and I don't always know, though often I can guess. And, let's face it, all 2 year-olds want to do stuff that isn't safe or possible and sometimes just can't have his way.

So, I feel like I've spent most of the week counseling. I counsel Ethan through his frustration. I counsel Jackson through the not-the-youngest-anymore jealousy. I counsel Alicia through her middle-child attitude. I counsel Zach and Hattie through their respective adolescent issues. No room to even begin that discussion. I was really busy listening, checking attitudes and guiding all week. This is more tiring than the physical mommy duties, strangely. I am honored to have the time and relationship with all of my kiddos to do this. But, I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Weeks 3 and 4

Before Coming Home After Coming Home

I thought you might like to see the before and after pictures. This is Ethan at about 8 months when he had just completed his surgery in China. The second picture is last week, taken of Ethan on his 100 wishes quilt. When Rob was doing his business tour in the Shandong province, one man he met said that his daughter had a 100 wishes quilt, too. So, it's a tradition still honored in Shandong. Can you tell how much his hair has grown in a month? I think his cut was from the summer based on pictures, but it was still pretty thin. It's almost ready for a haircut now. We didn't want to even out his hair with it so short in the winter. I was afraid he would be cold.

New words today: waffle, buckle (the carseat), Cheerios

New words yesterday: cereal, Marmie, PaPa (he really drawled out the Paw Paw, too. He will be a Southern gentleman soon enough. I can hear his Chinese cadence fading in his babble now. It's bittersweet. I'll be sad when he doesn't say Yo,Yo, Yo anymore)

In the last two weeks, we went to church and visited my grandfather, who is 90. But, that's it. We stayed home mostly. We are back to a full schedule of school, but it takes all day. We've been finishing at 5 PM most days, but we take a lot of breaks to play. Everything takes longer, breakfast, lunch, getting dressed. If we have a bath, that's about an hour. So, as long as we take it easy and use the time when we can, the work gets done. Some things just can't be done until naptime, which is late afternoon. Algebra explanations and read-alouds just can't be done with a toddler in the room. Please don't send me any helpful hints. It's just better to tackle it during naptime.

On Valentine's Day, Rob planned a stay-at-home date. He brought home sushi, and the kids went to bed (or at least upstairs in their rooms for the older ones) at 8:00. It took me ALL MORNING to shower, hot roll my hair and put on nice clothes and makeup. I really mean a long time. Ethan kept pointing to my curlers, looking confused and concerned and babbling at me. When it was time for swim practice, Ethan got to visit with Daddy at work for a few hours and I picked him up late afternoon. While he was with Rob and the older ones swam, I went to the bookstore to do my Valentine's Day shopping. Wow! I felt really normal that afternoon. That evening, Rob and I had time together to relax, eat our sushi and talk, and I felt totally normal. I think it was the turning point for me.

So new normal for us is good.