2 Months Home

This is a much overdue post. It seems that someone in the house has been sick for weeks and weeks. It has kept me busy. Currently, only one child has a bad case of poision ivy. It's so tempting to play in the woods when the weather turns warm. Hopefully, with nice weather on the horizon and Ethan's first surgery a month away, we will have a nice relaxing month.

Ethan sings and plays. He sings If You're Happy and You Know It. He says a few sentences. Two weeks ago he said, "I want Mommy." But a few days ago, he was playing while I was sewing, and he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, love you!" It was so incredibly precious. Our routine is pretty much the same. He is definately more comfortable at Gramma's house and Marmie and PaPa's house. He loves to go shopping in the grocery cart or the in the stroller. He's very content as long as family is close by. He loves playgrounds and climbing and sliding are great fun for him. He still sleeps with his shoes and loves to wear a bib.

I had a decade busting birthday last month. I was thinking about parenting a 2 year-old and some of the things that don't change. For example, it doesn't matter if I step into the kitchen to cook supper at 4:30 or 6:30, a two-year old is immediately STARVING and cranky. It's like the cue for fussy is mommy entering the kitchen. I still collapse as soon as it's bedtime. It's just as tiring chasing a 2 year-0ld. I don't think I'm any more tired than in my twenties. A stroll around the neighborhood in most any weather cures a bad mood, for mommy and baby. What's different? I don't worry about nearly as much silly stuff and I don't worry about the little stages that used to drive me crazy. Why do they take off their shoes in the car? Or insist on taking some toy along everywhere? and then losing it? I spend more time cuddling and playing, less time worrying about other stuff that needs to be done. I definately protect the naptime and bedtime better. Everyone is happier with a nap and a snack.

Overall, I think we are making the transition well. We still have many months to go, but overall, Ethan is just a joy and a blessing to our family.

5 Weeks Home

Today is a special day for Rob and I. We had our first date 24 years ago. We don't "celebrate" this anniversary, like do anything big, or exchange gifts, but we always remember that it's our first date anniversary. This year, I have to admit that I almost forgot. My husband had to remind me. Then I had to count up how many years ago. So when I was a sophomore in high school and Rob was a senior, a mutual friend, Lance Davis, said that he knew someone who liked me. Being dramatic, he didn't tell me who, only another senior, so my friend Lori and I rattled off the entire football team on the drive home. Her mom took us to school. When I found it was Robbie Greer, that science nerd from Advanced Chemistry, I thought, oh well. Maybe I'll get to go to the prom. I was sooo mature. Grin. Six weeks later, I was in love and we dated until we got married after college and joined him at graduate school. I would have never guessed that we would have 5 children and still be so in love. Yep! I still love him like I did in high school, except there's so much more to love about him now. He has been faithful when I doubted whether or not we would EVER save the money for the adoption; he has been steady and loving, my best friend. He's a good provider and great dad and he's loved me when I am pretty unloveable. Oh yes, I have my moments. It's never boring with his new interests like travel, guitar, golf, marathon running and cycling. My one and only was meant just for me!

Ethan update: Ethan has had good and bad days this week. I've seen more of the tantrums we saw in China, but not nearly so intense. One day was just one tantrum after another. We had only been awake for 2 hours and we were already in the stroller, cruising the neighborhood to try and improve the mood. After this day, I decided he needed a morning nap in addition to his afternoon nap. This has made a huge difference. It's a lot more napping than I would expect from a 2 and half year-0ld, but he is processing a lot of information all of time. I'm trying to introduce things slowly, but it seems like there is always a new situation or person to meet, or place to go. Overall, I think ( really hope ) that he's feeling comfortable enough to show some frustration and displeasure. I was prepared for an angry phase, but these tantrums seem to be normal toddler frustration. After all, he can't communicate his wants and needs and I don't always know, though often I can guess. And, let's face it, all 2 year-olds want to do stuff that isn't safe or possible and sometimes just can't have his way.

So, I feel like I've spent most of the week counseling. I counsel Ethan through his frustration. I counsel Jackson through the not-the-youngest-anymore jealousy. I counsel Alicia through her middle-child attitude. I counsel Zach and Hattie through their respective adolescent issues. No room to even begin that discussion. I was really busy listening, checking attitudes and guiding all week. This is more tiring than the physical mommy duties, strangely. I am honored to have the time and relationship with all of my kiddos to do this. But, I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Weeks 3 and 4

Before Coming Home After Coming Home

I thought you might like to see the before and after pictures. This is Ethan at about 8 months when he had just completed his surgery in China. The second picture is last week, taken of Ethan on his 100 wishes quilt. When Rob was doing his business tour in the Shandong province, one man he met said that his daughter had a 100 wishes quilt, too. So, it's a tradition still honored in Shandong. Can you tell how much his hair has grown in a month? I think his cut was from the summer based on pictures, but it was still pretty thin. It's almost ready for a haircut now. We didn't want to even out his hair with it so short in the winter. I was afraid he would be cold.

New words today: waffle, buckle (the carseat), Cheerios

New words yesterday: cereal, Marmie, PaPa (he really drawled out the Paw Paw, too. He will be a Southern gentleman soon enough. I can hear his Chinese cadence fading in his babble now. It's bittersweet. I'll be sad when he doesn't say Yo,Yo, Yo anymore)

In the last two weeks, we went to church and visited my grandfather, who is 90. But, that's it. We stayed home mostly. We are back to a full schedule of school, but it takes all day. We've been finishing at 5 PM most days, but we take a lot of breaks to play. Everything takes longer, breakfast, lunch, getting dressed. If we have a bath, that's about an hour. So, as long as we take it easy and use the time when we can, the work gets done. Some things just can't be done until naptime, which is late afternoon. Algebra explanations and read-alouds just can't be done with a toddler in the room. Please don't send me any helpful hints. It's just better to tackle it during naptime.

On Valentine's Day, Rob planned a stay-at-home date. He brought home sushi, and the kids went to bed (or at least upstairs in their rooms for the older ones) at 8:00. It took me ALL MORNING to shower, hot roll my hair and put on nice clothes and makeup. I really mean a long time. Ethan kept pointing to my curlers, looking confused and concerned and babbling at me. When it was time for swim practice, Ethan got to visit with Daddy at work for a few hours and I picked him up late afternoon. While he was with Rob and the older ones swam, I went to the bookstore to do my Valentine's Day shopping. Wow! I felt really normal that afternoon. That evening, Rob and I had time together to relax, eat our sushi and talk, and I felt totally normal. I think it was the turning point for me.

So new normal for us is good.

Second Week Home--What Was I Thinking?

On Sunday, two children were running a fever. We begin about 10 days of someone getting sick with a sore throat, fever and congestion. It's just what a jet-lagged mom needs! We had planned to visit Gramma, so I stayed home with Jackson and Alicia while the rest of the family went to visit. Ethan meets Gramma! She is so excited to meet him. It was a pretty short visit, but Rob said that Ethan did well. Gramma sent home some toys and Uncle Matt and Aunt Susan had left some gifts, too. They visited from Colorado while we were in China. Ethan likes toys and doesn't seem overwhelmed by the noisy ones, so he really enjoys them. I am amazed that he has a long attention span, longer than his siblings at 2. He can play with nesting blocks for a really long time without being bored. Maybe it's less tv, or less exposure to toys, but I try to leave him alone and let him play!

I had originally scheduled two doctors appointments about 2 weeks apart. However, the one specialist appointment was moved, so we had two appointments in one week. I don't recommend this because it was overwhelming for Ethan and for me. The first appointment was with the pediatrician. This was a long appointment and in the end, Ethan needed two needle sticks for blood and 4 immunizations. Ouch! I remembered being teary with my oldest at his shots, but after that, just a calm mom who soothes crying babies with the next three. By the time we got to Ethan's shots, 2.5 hours after arriving at the office, I did cry. I think I was still emotionally exhausted which didn't help. Overall, all of his tests are fine and it was a good check up. Our next appointment is in 6 weeks!



The second appointment, two days later, was with the orthopedic surgeon. He looked at Ethan's hands, took x-rays, and recommended a series of surgeries to separate his fingers. This one only took 1.5 hours start to finish. These new places and strange doctors took its toll on Ethan and he slept a lot this week--long naps, sleeping in late mornings.



On Saturday, Alicia was swimming in a meet out of town, so we--Alicia and a friend and I, spent the Saturday away. My middle child--the most middle-child personality of all of my kids, needed a day alone with mom. We got up at 4AM, drove to the meet and she was in the water at 7AM. Rob and the rest of the family had a nice day at home to relax and think about our next vehicle purchase. Yes, we finally need something bigger. We can't put it off any longer. I really overestimated my energy level and was really tired and crying on Saturday night. I want to able to do more, but I'm really not ready. I'm trying to be more careful for Ethan, but he's not the only one making an adjustment.

Overall, I ended the week wondering what I was thinking. I definitely did too much too soon. I haven't even written about our attempts to get schooling complete. All of the children are doing math and personal reading, but I'll take on more next week.

First Week Home--Eat Sleep Play

Okay, I have to admit that we have now been home three weeks, and I did not journal any for the first week. I was just too tired. Jackson and I had the hardest time getting back on the right time zone. I would wake up COMPLETELY awake at 3 AM for the longest time. I didn't want to wake up my darling hubby who had to go to work, or Ethan who needed to be in the right time zone, so I got up and watched a movie, and went back to bed. This went on for several days. I would get so tired that I would sleep a full night and think I was "cured," but fall back into the same routine for a few more days. I was well into the second week until I could sleep normally.

Jackson kept falling asleep before dinner, but he was waking up in the middle of the night and playing in his closet. His sisters told on him, so I eventually kept him up after dinner, put him in my bed, made sure he was asleep by 10 and didn't let him get up. One night of this cured his time zone issues.

We tried to keep the family routine very simple. I did take the kids out to music lessons and swim practice, but that was the only visiting or travelling we did. Ethan slept, ate and played on the rug in the kitchen. Most visitors saw him in the high chair or on the play rug. He also liked to zoom around the house inside and out in a red coupe.

On the first day, he asked for BaBa most of the day. On Wednesday, I took him to Rob's work for a visit during swim team. He happily came back to me when it was time to pick him up. With most strangers, Ethan would not make eye contact and wanted to be held by me or Rob. We tried to keep the visiting small and infrequent and on our own turf.

During the first week, we were looking at pictures and video of the trip. We watched the gotcha day video and Ethan climbed up on Rob's lap. He began to chew on his hand. I mean really chew on it. It was immediately red. I finally understood the condition of his hand when he first came to us. For the first week in China, I put Neosporin on Ethan's hand, the one where he had surgery at 8 months. I couldn't figure out why it was still raw when it had clearly healed and scarred from the surgery. I noticed the redness in pictures while we were waiting, too. When Ethan is REALLY REALLY upset, he chews on this hand. This was so sad to me. I just wanted to scoop him up and comfort him, to let him know it's okay. I haven't seen this again, but I will surely be watching for it.

Other than a few events, the first week is a blur of not sleeping well, drinking lots of coffee and really enjoying being with all the children.

Flying Home

Home today! I am so ready to be with my other children. I really miss them! We begin with an early morning check out. We have some fruit in the room, so that will be a snack until we check in at the airport. Unfortunately, we are out of box milks for Ethan and he gets grumpy before we can find him some milk. We take a shuttle to the airport and check in our luggage. We go through security and then have plenty of time at the gate. We eat at a McDonalds in the airport and let Jackson pick out something at the Hong Kong Disney store. He chooses a remote controlled car, one more bag to keep up with on the plane, but he is really pleased with it. Also, once we reach Detroit, the package is thoroughly examined, I suppose because of the remote control.

We board the plane and have another search of our carry-on. This makes 3 searches, one at customs, one through security and one here at the gate. It's okay, though; I'm just ready to be in the air. This is a long flight, but we have on demand movies, tv and games, so Jackson and Rob are entertained through the whole flight. Since Ethan is over 2, we have a seat for him, but we don't' use it the entire flight. We have 3 together near the window and one on the center row at the aisle. However, Jackson won't go to that seat and Ethan won't let Rob or me leave him, so we are cozy in the row. It's actually fairly comfortable since we are all together and can spread out. I don't sleep at all on the flight, but Jackson sleeps the last 3 hours and Ethan sleeps twice.

Once we land in Detroit, we get all of our luggage and go through customs. It takes a long time since one lane processes the adoption Visas. Once we are through, Ethan is a US citizen. We load our luggage back on a conveyor, check in for the domestic flight and go through security AGAIN. We are at the gate with a few minutes to spare, but the flight is delayed by one hour. This flight feels like we are taking off and landing. Ethan bounces in the seat beside Rob most of the trip. Describing this seems like it was easy, but it was actually really tiring. The trip takes over 24 hours and we have an hour drive until we are at home. Once in Charlotte, we load up the van and drive home.

At home, we have a great welcome! My friends have left a refrigerator full of food, enough for the weekend at least so I don't have to go to the store, a meal for the evening and a basket of goodies, snacks and other surprises. What a relief! I have such good friends. Thanks GGs. My parents bring over the oldest three and we all have dinner.

My bed has never felt so good. I sleep until early morning and Ethan sleeps beautifully through the night. He never has a hard time adjusting to the time, but it will take me weeks! More on that later. For now, I am home with my whole family, completely happy and exhausted.

Heading Home

Hong Kong and Train Station Purgatory

We spend most of the day packing, weighing the suitcases and repacking. We buy an extra bag because we don't want to carry on too much this time. I think keeping up with two boys will be enough, especially getting through security with a lot of stuff. I already did that on the way and it was difficult. The group is travelling together to the train station and then the Marriot near the airport in Hong Kong. The hotel has an indoor pool and we should arrive for an early dinner, so I pack the swimmy diapers, hoping we will finally get a chance to swim. It turns out that this was very wishful thinking.

We take a bus to the Consulate to pick up our brown envelopes. Then we go the train station. We pay a porter to take our luggage so that we don't have to have it with us. It turns out the train was not very crowded and it would have been fine to have it with us. I also realize that we have paid $80 each for tickets that were only $20. I'm feeling really grumpy about the expensive travel in a very inexpensive country these last few days. Everything has been marked up ridiculously and we have been treated to "tourist" shopping which is US prices. I suppose since Rob has been here on business and had a taste of how the Chinese really live and work and shop, it's harder for us to be tourists.

The ride is comfortable and we have a chance to see some scenery as we travel. Ethan is happy on the ride and takes a nap during the second half. Jackson naps, too. When we arrive at the train station, it is an awful experience. We go through customs without any problem, just a wait in a line and a look our passports. We are supposed to meet a bus at A1. This is a bit of a walk, and we head to A1. Unfortunately, the bus is right outside the terminal where we arrived. We spend 2 hours calling the hotel, moving to different terminals and waiting. I am ready to get a cab and leave the group when the bus finally arrives. The manager of the Marriot apologizes, doesn't charge us for the bus and gives us dinner at the buffet for free. I'm so tired at this point, I would have preferred room service and a shower, but we eat at check into our room about 10 PM.

Okay, honestly, if I had this to do over again, I would just fly out of GZ. Adding this trip and the expensive hotel in HK, I don't think we saved any money flying out of Hong Kong. Plus, we began our long flight home really tired from the day before.