Almost 3!

I can't believe that I am planning Ethan's first birthday party! He will be three next week. My children and I are so excited. I've had presents wrapped for days and he has not clue that they are his or that there is something exciting inside just for him.

We have had seen some big accomplishments this week. He has worn underwear with no accidents for a week. I knew he was ready and has known since we've been with him what to do on the potty, but he just refused in his own way to sit on the potty. He has a very polite refusal, saying "no thank you!" if he doesn't want to do something. So, I've waited and waited and now it's just easy! I'm one happy momma to be finished with diapers.

He has also said his name this week. We've asked and asked, "What's your name?" with no response. This week he says, "Ethan!" Once he said, "GuoQiang Greer." Rob and I are fine with him being GuoQiang if he wants to keep his Chinese name. I heard one mom say one time that her toddler preferred her Chinese name, so we've considered the possibility. We love both names.

Some days are still insecure days. On Friday morning, I could tell he was fussy and wanted to eat all morning. I took him in my room, cuddled up on the bed and watched "Cars" with him. The errands had to wait. The art project had to wait. Everything else was left undone, but who cares? I can tell when he just needs cuddling. And, honestly, it was good for mom to have a restful morning, too.

First Surgeries

Ethan had his first surgery last week. We planned to begin surgery on his right hand as soon as possible since it will likely take 3 surgeries to give him the best hand we can. I have been blessed to have 4 very healthy children. My oldest had tubes in his ears 13 years ago, but that is the extent of my experience with hospitals and recovery. Of course, Rob and I were nervous sending our little Ethan into surgery, but we knew that this was his path and part of why we brought him home.

I got Ethan appointents with one of the nation's top hand pediatric surgeons. He does a lot of teaching and speaking, so he chooses his cases, but it was one of the few things I could do during the long waiting between LOA (letter of acceptance) and TA (travel approval). During this point in the process, the paperwork is all hurry up and wait. The turn-around for paperwork is one or two days with weeks of waiting for the next step. I was glad to be "doing something" during this time. I'm a do-er, not a wait-er.

So, we go in very early for surgery. The doc schedules the youngest first and we were the youngest. Once the anaesthesiologist saw his tonsils, he called in the ENT. She recommended that we remove his tonsils and adenoids immediately after the hand surgery. Tonsils were on my list of concerns, but we had so many issues in the first two well-check visits. Before surgery, Ethan snored all night long, drooled constantly, really chewed his food and spit out a lot his meat. We thought the eating habits had to do with the orphanage, but the ENT said that his tonsils were so big, she didn't know how he was eating.

This was a very long day. During recovery, I sat beside Ethan as he ate Popsicles. As soon as he saw me, he began to cry and say "Mom, mom." It was pitiful. He rode to the room on my lap in a wheel chair wrapped up in a warm blanket. He spent the entire day on my lap, eating Popsicles and Jell0. He was distressed because the IV was wrapped up on the hand with the thumb that he sucks.
We were so glad when he was released and they could free that thumb.

Ethan will have a cast for 2 weeks. When we take it off, we will see his new pinky finger. The time at home has been tiring but wonderful. It has been a good bonding time. Ethan separates from me easier when I leave him with dad to go to the store. He gives kisses and hugs to my parents when they leave. His new words are "blanket, Popsicle and HAPPY."

The first time he said "happy," I said, "Are you happy?"

Ethan said, "Yes, happy!"

We have lots of Popsicles and ice-cream in the house and are working on setting the record for watching Walle and Cars. It didn't take long for me to get to that so exhausted feeling again. I forget how hard the travel was. It's just really easy for me to take on more than I can accomplish, but my children of all ages suffer when I do that. I'm so thankful for friends who bring meals and take older kids to do stuff. It's pretty hard for a 12 year-old to hang around the house for days and days eating ice-cream and watching movies. Also, for Mother's Day, my best gift was my husband taking the children off for the afternoon so that I could nap and relax. I feel totally recharged after my wonderful afternoon.

Overall, we are thankful that these surgeries are over and a week has already passed. Ethan is such a blessing to us and he continues to thrive beyond our expectations. Thank you, Jesus, for Ethan.

2 Months Home

This is a much overdue post. It seems that someone in the house has been sick for weeks and weeks. It has kept me busy. Currently, only one child has a bad case of poision ivy. It's so tempting to play in the woods when the weather turns warm. Hopefully, with nice weather on the horizon and Ethan's first surgery a month away, we will have a nice relaxing month.

Ethan sings and plays. He sings If You're Happy and You Know It. He says a few sentences. Two weeks ago he said, "I want Mommy." But a few days ago, he was playing while I was sewing, and he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, love you!" It was so incredibly precious. Our routine is pretty much the same. He is definately more comfortable at Gramma's house and Marmie and PaPa's house. He loves to go shopping in the grocery cart or the in the stroller. He's very content as long as family is close by. He loves playgrounds and climbing and sliding are great fun for him. He still sleeps with his shoes and loves to wear a bib.

I had a decade busting birthday last month. I was thinking about parenting a 2 year-old and some of the things that don't change. For example, it doesn't matter if I step into the kitchen to cook supper at 4:30 or 6:30, a two-year old is immediately STARVING and cranky. It's like the cue for fussy is mommy entering the kitchen. I still collapse as soon as it's bedtime. It's just as tiring chasing a 2 year-0ld. I don't think I'm any more tired than in my twenties. A stroll around the neighborhood in most any weather cures a bad mood, for mommy and baby. What's different? I don't worry about nearly as much silly stuff and I don't worry about the little stages that used to drive me crazy. Why do they take off their shoes in the car? Or insist on taking some toy along everywhere? and then losing it? I spend more time cuddling and playing, less time worrying about other stuff that needs to be done. I definately protect the naptime and bedtime better. Everyone is happier with a nap and a snack.

Overall, I think we are making the transition well. We still have many months to go, but overall, Ethan is just a joy and a blessing to our family.

5 Weeks Home

Today is a special day for Rob and I. We had our first date 24 years ago. We don't "celebrate" this anniversary, like do anything big, or exchange gifts, but we always remember that it's our first date anniversary. This year, I have to admit that I almost forgot. My husband had to remind me. Then I had to count up how many years ago. So when I was a sophomore in high school and Rob was a senior, a mutual friend, Lance Davis, said that he knew someone who liked me. Being dramatic, he didn't tell me who, only another senior, so my friend Lori and I rattled off the entire football team on the drive home. Her mom took us to school. When I found it was Robbie Greer, that science nerd from Advanced Chemistry, I thought, oh well. Maybe I'll get to go to the prom. I was sooo mature. Grin. Six weeks later, I was in love and we dated until we got married after college and joined him at graduate school. I would have never guessed that we would have 5 children and still be so in love. Yep! I still love him like I did in high school, except there's so much more to love about him now. He has been faithful when I doubted whether or not we would EVER save the money for the adoption; he has been steady and loving, my best friend. He's a good provider and great dad and he's loved me when I am pretty unloveable. Oh yes, I have my moments. It's never boring with his new interests like travel, guitar, golf, marathon running and cycling. My one and only was meant just for me!

Ethan update: Ethan has had good and bad days this week. I've seen more of the tantrums we saw in China, but not nearly so intense. One day was just one tantrum after another. We had only been awake for 2 hours and we were already in the stroller, cruising the neighborhood to try and improve the mood. After this day, I decided he needed a morning nap in addition to his afternoon nap. This has made a huge difference. It's a lot more napping than I would expect from a 2 and half year-0ld, but he is processing a lot of information all of time. I'm trying to introduce things slowly, but it seems like there is always a new situation or person to meet, or place to go. Overall, I think ( really hope ) that he's feeling comfortable enough to show some frustration and displeasure. I was prepared for an angry phase, but these tantrums seem to be normal toddler frustration. After all, he can't communicate his wants and needs and I don't always know, though often I can guess. And, let's face it, all 2 year-olds want to do stuff that isn't safe or possible and sometimes just can't have his way.

So, I feel like I've spent most of the week counseling. I counsel Ethan through his frustration. I counsel Jackson through the not-the-youngest-anymore jealousy. I counsel Alicia through her middle-child attitude. I counsel Zach and Hattie through their respective adolescent issues. No room to even begin that discussion. I was really busy listening, checking attitudes and guiding all week. This is more tiring than the physical mommy duties, strangely. I am honored to have the time and relationship with all of my kiddos to do this. But, I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Weeks 3 and 4

Before Coming Home After Coming Home

I thought you might like to see the before and after pictures. This is Ethan at about 8 months when he had just completed his surgery in China. The second picture is last week, taken of Ethan on his 100 wishes quilt. When Rob was doing his business tour in the Shandong province, one man he met said that his daughter had a 100 wishes quilt, too. So, it's a tradition still honored in Shandong. Can you tell how much his hair has grown in a month? I think his cut was from the summer based on pictures, but it was still pretty thin. It's almost ready for a haircut now. We didn't want to even out his hair with it so short in the winter. I was afraid he would be cold.

New words today: waffle, buckle (the carseat), Cheerios

New words yesterday: cereal, Marmie, PaPa (he really drawled out the Paw Paw, too. He will be a Southern gentleman soon enough. I can hear his Chinese cadence fading in his babble now. It's bittersweet. I'll be sad when he doesn't say Yo,Yo, Yo anymore)

In the last two weeks, we went to church and visited my grandfather, who is 90. But, that's it. We stayed home mostly. We are back to a full schedule of school, but it takes all day. We've been finishing at 5 PM most days, but we take a lot of breaks to play. Everything takes longer, breakfast, lunch, getting dressed. If we have a bath, that's about an hour. So, as long as we take it easy and use the time when we can, the work gets done. Some things just can't be done until naptime, which is late afternoon. Algebra explanations and read-alouds just can't be done with a toddler in the room. Please don't send me any helpful hints. It's just better to tackle it during naptime.

On Valentine's Day, Rob planned a stay-at-home date. He brought home sushi, and the kids went to bed (or at least upstairs in their rooms for the older ones) at 8:00. It took me ALL MORNING to shower, hot roll my hair and put on nice clothes and makeup. I really mean a long time. Ethan kept pointing to my curlers, looking confused and concerned and babbling at me. When it was time for swim practice, Ethan got to visit with Daddy at work for a few hours and I picked him up late afternoon. While he was with Rob and the older ones swam, I went to the bookstore to do my Valentine's Day shopping. Wow! I felt really normal that afternoon. That evening, Rob and I had time together to relax, eat our sushi and talk, and I felt totally normal. I think it was the turning point for me.

So new normal for us is good.

Second Week Home--What Was I Thinking?

On Sunday, two children were running a fever. We begin about 10 days of someone getting sick with a sore throat, fever and congestion. It's just what a jet-lagged mom needs! We had planned to visit Gramma, so I stayed home with Jackson and Alicia while the rest of the family went to visit. Ethan meets Gramma! She is so excited to meet him. It was a pretty short visit, but Rob said that Ethan did well. Gramma sent home some toys and Uncle Matt and Aunt Susan had left some gifts, too. They visited from Colorado while we were in China. Ethan likes toys and doesn't seem overwhelmed by the noisy ones, so he really enjoys them. I am amazed that he has a long attention span, longer than his siblings at 2. He can play with nesting blocks for a really long time without being bored. Maybe it's less tv, or less exposure to toys, but I try to leave him alone and let him play!

I had originally scheduled two doctors appointments about 2 weeks apart. However, the one specialist appointment was moved, so we had two appointments in one week. I don't recommend this because it was overwhelming for Ethan and for me. The first appointment was with the pediatrician. This was a long appointment and in the end, Ethan needed two needle sticks for blood and 4 immunizations. Ouch! I remembered being teary with my oldest at his shots, but after that, just a calm mom who soothes crying babies with the next three. By the time we got to Ethan's shots, 2.5 hours after arriving at the office, I did cry. I think I was still emotionally exhausted which didn't help. Overall, all of his tests are fine and it was a good check up. Our next appointment is in 6 weeks!



The second appointment, two days later, was with the orthopedic surgeon. He looked at Ethan's hands, took x-rays, and recommended a series of surgeries to separate his fingers. This one only took 1.5 hours start to finish. These new places and strange doctors took its toll on Ethan and he slept a lot this week--long naps, sleeping in late mornings.



On Saturday, Alicia was swimming in a meet out of town, so we--Alicia and a friend and I, spent the Saturday away. My middle child--the most middle-child personality of all of my kids, needed a day alone with mom. We got up at 4AM, drove to the meet and she was in the water at 7AM. Rob and the rest of the family had a nice day at home to relax and think about our next vehicle purchase. Yes, we finally need something bigger. We can't put it off any longer. I really overestimated my energy level and was really tired and crying on Saturday night. I want to able to do more, but I'm really not ready. I'm trying to be more careful for Ethan, but he's not the only one making an adjustment.

Overall, I ended the week wondering what I was thinking. I definitely did too much too soon. I haven't even written about our attempts to get schooling complete. All of the children are doing math and personal reading, but I'll take on more next week.

First Week Home--Eat Sleep Play

Okay, I have to admit that we have now been home three weeks, and I did not journal any for the first week. I was just too tired. Jackson and I had the hardest time getting back on the right time zone. I would wake up COMPLETELY awake at 3 AM for the longest time. I didn't want to wake up my darling hubby who had to go to work, or Ethan who needed to be in the right time zone, so I got up and watched a movie, and went back to bed. This went on for several days. I would get so tired that I would sleep a full night and think I was "cured," but fall back into the same routine for a few more days. I was well into the second week until I could sleep normally.

Jackson kept falling asleep before dinner, but he was waking up in the middle of the night and playing in his closet. His sisters told on him, so I eventually kept him up after dinner, put him in my bed, made sure he was asleep by 10 and didn't let him get up. One night of this cured his time zone issues.

We tried to keep the family routine very simple. I did take the kids out to music lessons and swim practice, but that was the only visiting or travelling we did. Ethan slept, ate and played on the rug in the kitchen. Most visitors saw him in the high chair or on the play rug. He also liked to zoom around the house inside and out in a red coupe.

On the first day, he asked for BaBa most of the day. On Wednesday, I took him to Rob's work for a visit during swim team. He happily came back to me when it was time to pick him up. With most strangers, Ethan would not make eye contact and wanted to be held by me or Rob. We tried to keep the visiting small and infrequent and on our own turf.

During the first week, we were looking at pictures and video of the trip. We watched the gotcha day video and Ethan climbed up on Rob's lap. He began to chew on his hand. I mean really chew on it. It was immediately red. I finally understood the condition of his hand when he first came to us. For the first week in China, I put Neosporin on Ethan's hand, the one where he had surgery at 8 months. I couldn't figure out why it was still raw when it had clearly healed and scarred from the surgery. I noticed the redness in pictures while we were waiting, too. When Ethan is REALLY REALLY upset, he chews on this hand. This was so sad to me. I just wanted to scoop him up and comfort him, to let him know it's okay. I haven't seen this again, but I will surely be watching for it.

Other than a few events, the first week is a blur of not sleeping well, drinking lots of coffee and really enjoying being with all the children.

Flying Home

Home today! I am so ready to be with my other children. I really miss them! We begin with an early morning check out. We have some fruit in the room, so that will be a snack until we check in at the airport. Unfortunately, we are out of box milks for Ethan and he gets grumpy before we can find him some milk. We take a shuttle to the airport and check in our luggage. We go through security and then have plenty of time at the gate. We eat at a McDonalds in the airport and let Jackson pick out something at the Hong Kong Disney store. He chooses a remote controlled car, one more bag to keep up with on the plane, but he is really pleased with it. Also, once we reach Detroit, the package is thoroughly examined, I suppose because of the remote control.

We board the plane and have another search of our carry-on. This makes 3 searches, one at customs, one through security and one here at the gate. It's okay, though; I'm just ready to be in the air. This is a long flight, but we have on demand movies, tv and games, so Jackson and Rob are entertained through the whole flight. Since Ethan is over 2, we have a seat for him, but we don't' use it the entire flight. We have 3 together near the window and one on the center row at the aisle. However, Jackson won't go to that seat and Ethan won't let Rob or me leave him, so we are cozy in the row. It's actually fairly comfortable since we are all together and can spread out. I don't sleep at all on the flight, but Jackson sleeps the last 3 hours and Ethan sleeps twice.

Once we land in Detroit, we get all of our luggage and go through customs. It takes a long time since one lane processes the adoption Visas. Once we are through, Ethan is a US citizen. We load our luggage back on a conveyor, check in for the domestic flight and go through security AGAIN. We are at the gate with a few minutes to spare, but the flight is delayed by one hour. This flight feels like we are taking off and landing. Ethan bounces in the seat beside Rob most of the trip. Describing this seems like it was easy, but it was actually really tiring. The trip takes over 24 hours and we have an hour drive until we are at home. Once in Charlotte, we load up the van and drive home.

At home, we have a great welcome! My friends have left a refrigerator full of food, enough for the weekend at least so I don't have to go to the store, a meal for the evening and a basket of goodies, snacks and other surprises. What a relief! I have such good friends. Thanks GGs. My parents bring over the oldest three and we all have dinner.

My bed has never felt so good. I sleep until early morning and Ethan sleeps beautifully through the night. He never has a hard time adjusting to the time, but it will take me weeks! More on that later. For now, I am home with my whole family, completely happy and exhausted.

Heading Home

Hong Kong and Train Station Purgatory

We spend most of the day packing, weighing the suitcases and repacking. We buy an extra bag because we don't want to carry on too much this time. I think keeping up with two boys will be enough, especially getting through security with a lot of stuff. I already did that on the way and it was difficult. The group is travelling together to the train station and then the Marriot near the airport in Hong Kong. The hotel has an indoor pool and we should arrive for an early dinner, so I pack the swimmy diapers, hoping we will finally get a chance to swim. It turns out that this was very wishful thinking.

We take a bus to the Consulate to pick up our brown envelopes. Then we go the train station. We pay a porter to take our luggage so that we don't have to have it with us. It turns out the train was not very crowded and it would have been fine to have it with us. I also realize that we have paid $80 each for tickets that were only $20. I'm feeling really grumpy about the expensive travel in a very inexpensive country these last few days. Everything has been marked up ridiculously and we have been treated to "tourist" shopping which is US prices. I suppose since Rob has been here on business and had a taste of how the Chinese really live and work and shop, it's harder for us to be tourists.

The ride is comfortable and we have a chance to see some scenery as we travel. Ethan is happy on the ride and takes a nap during the second half. Jackson naps, too. When we arrive at the train station, it is an awful experience. We go through customs without any problem, just a wait in a line and a look our passports. We are supposed to meet a bus at A1. This is a bit of a walk, and we head to A1. Unfortunately, the bus is right outside the terminal where we arrived. We spend 2 hours calling the hotel, moving to different terminals and waiting. I am ready to get a cab and leave the group when the bus finally arrives. The manager of the Marriot apologizes, doesn't charge us for the bus and gives us dinner at the buffet for free. I'm so tired at this point, I would have preferred room service and a shower, but we eat at check into our room about 10 PM.

Okay, honestly, if I had this to do over again, I would just fly out of GZ. Adding this trip and the expensive hotel in HK, I don't think we saved any money flying out of Hong Kong. Plus, we began our long flight home really tired from the day before.

Safari Park

Jan 26th

We have a free day today. The rest of the group is going to a park and Buddhist temple, but we really need a low-key family day. Jackson has been dragged around in the middle of the night (for him), waiting in offices, eating strange food and not liking much of it. It's been hard for him, and overall, he's done great. He has certainly complained and cried, but he hasn't said anything I haven't thought during this trip. It's hard to say if I would take him again. The travel was very very difficult for him. But the bonding with Ethan and our transition was really good. Overall, even though it would have been much easier for me, I think I'd bring him again because it was easier for Ethan. So, I decided that the trip to the Safari Park would be an easy day for Jackson. He could see what he wanted, feed the giraffes as long as he wanted, get whatever from the gift shop (nothing was very expensive because this wasn't directed to American tourists) and have ice cream several times.

So, that's what we did. This was a great zoo, with Pandas, koalas, tigers, gorillas, elephants, monkeys, a great variety of animals. We could pay a few dollars at several stations and feed the animals. So, we fed the elephants bananas, the monkeys bananas and the giraffes leaves. I loved the Pandas; it was definitely the highlight of the day. We had a train ride to see large animals in a safari setting. It was a great day, partly because we got to come and go as we pleased. I think it's hard being with a group all of the time. This park also had a circus, amusement rides, a water park and some hotels, but we just went to the zoo.

Sickness and Sight-Seeing

Jan 24th

Today is a day of shopping, touring a folk-art museum, a building that had been a family home, school and Buddhist temple in the past. We went to lunch for Chinese, but this food was all highly fried. It was very different from any other Chinese food I had. It was not healthy and the fried food made me sick. I think it may have been for foreigners, but I'd rather have regular Chinese food. The simple meat and vegetables, followed by rice or noodles is a very healthy way to eat. This was the beginning of a 2 day illness that lingered for the rest of the trip. Maybe it was some lettuce I had on a hamburger at an American style restaurant. Maybe I forgot about the water when I was brushing my teeth. However I got the water, I was very very sick. Thankfully, Rob took the boys out for a walk or shopping while I laid in the bed and wanted to die. Anything to stop the sickness! With enough Immodium and no eating, I struggled through the next few days. I got very homesick for the rest of my children on these days and really just wanted to be home. My attitude about all things Chinese was not good for these days. At least the children didn't get this. It would have been really difficult.

Jan 25th Consulate Appointment

After a quick trip back to the medical clinic to read the TB test, we have the afternoon before leaving for the Consulate Appointment. About 30 families all gather to take an oath to say that we won't abandon our child and we haven't lied on our documents. Everything has been turned in and we wait to pick up our brown envelope with the approved Visa and Immigration papers that we need to return home. We will get this in 2 days. Because I'm still sick, this is all I can manage to do today. I am so ready to go home!

Church

Jan 23rd



Rather than sight-seeing our group agrees to go to church. I've suggested it because I really wanted to return. Over four years ago, while visiting the White Swan, we attended church right outside the backdoor of the hotel. They have a service in English and Chinese and this was THE MOMENT when I knew we were coming back one day to adopt. So, I had to go to church. The service is about 90 minutes with English praise songs and a translated sermon. This was a very Calvinist sermon about total depravity with the hope of a Savior in Christ. It was short and sweet, but so refreshing to me. Also, there is something powerful about singing "How Great Thou Art" in many languages together. I've sung with Chinese, German, Russian and English. It seems to be a hymn that all believers know. The last part of the service is a special group singing only in Chinese, but I didn't care. Eventually, our boys got wiggly and we left a few minutes early, but it was a great morning for me.

I've noticed a few signals that Ethan is not comfortable yet, or still adjusting. I know it's only been a week and this process takes time, but a mom can't help but notice. Actually these are good clues because I see them at home recur when we are doing too much or taking on too many new situations.

Shoes--Ethan loves his shoes. He doesn't want to take them off, even when he's sleeping --or he wants to hold them while he sleeps.

Food--Ethan is not picky about eating and doesn't gorge himself, but he is a little chipmunk. After he's full, he continues to stuff his cheeks with food. When he doesn't like something, he will eat it but now swallow. After most meals, I hold out my hand and let him spit it out. I've learned to be careful because he will hold the food for a long time, even when he goes down to sleep. He doesn't mind spitting it out, thankfully. He's still doing this after being home several weeks.

Sleep--During the first few days, Ethan wanted no socks or shoes and no blanket when he slept. He actually wanted as little clothing as possible. He would not cuddle with me and would not let me cover him with a blanket. He just needed a thumb and some space. After three weeks home, he has a better routine with kisses and cuddles, and he lets me cover him with a blanket. He likes someone in the room when he's falling asleep and a lot of darkness. His crib is in our bedroom, so usually, I just rest on the bed until he falls asleep. It doesn't take him long as long as it's dark and quiet. Even though he's tall enough and plenty strong, he has never tried to climb out of the crib. I think the sleep routine is my best indicator that he's settling in with us.

The First Day in Guangzhou

Jan 22nd



The White Swan hotel is very luxurious hotel, the nicest I've ever stayed, not that I stay in a lot of upscale hotels. It's so much easier than in Shandong. We are paired with 3 other families from our agency, sharing a guide for the rest of the trip.



The medical exam is the first task for the day. We make a short walk through a nice business area with parks to the clinic. About 30 families are gettting the required medical exam needed for the visa application. As we wait and talk to families, I am in awe of all these redeemed children. Almost everyone I meet is adopting a waiting child. We all talk about the needs and what can be done at home. I am amazed that simple procedures in many cases will allow these children to lead normal, healthy lives. The attitude of the parents is what amazes me most. The attitude is love and acceptance. There is also a fierce determination to do all we can for these children. We are all a little shell-shocked from the first week, too.



When the doctor looks at Ethan's hands and feet, his attitude is different. I'm not blaming him because he sees so many children, only filling out the necessary forms. He counts his fingers with the nurse to decide how many good fingers he has. "One, only one." Rob started to argue with him. "No, these fingers are fine, they just look different." I told Rob that he just wanted to complete his paperwork; it didn't matter what he wrote down. But, we both felt a little defensive, ready to fight for equality for Ethan.



It's true. Ethan's amniotic banding left his fingers on his left hand fat, except for the middle finger, which is short. But, he has five fingers to move and use fairly normally. His right hand was originally like a mitten with a thumb and four fused fingers. At 8 months, doctors in Linyi gave Ethan a pointer finger, which allows him to do a lot. He can eat with a fork with both hands. He can pick up Cheerios and put a Playmobil man in an airplane. After a few days Rob and I stopped seeing that his hands were different at all. His toes have the same kinds of issues, but he walks, runs, goes up stairs etc. without difficulty.



For all of these children waiting to be checked at each station for vision, weight, get a TB test, they are going home to be loved by parents who have longed for them, saved for them and waited for this day. I gave Ethan a new name, new clothes and a future. We will give him every medical treatment possible and send him to college one day. I loved him before I even met him. I am so aware that all of these children have been rescued. This

is exactly how my heavenly father sees me. This is what he has done for me and more. I had been sensing this throughout the past few months, a life picture of God's love for me, but this day it was so clear and wonderful.



During naptime, I met with the other families in my group and filled out paperwork for the American Consulate. I had to get all of the right papers together from home and the province. This is when I get the homestudy, passport photos, copies and papers from the province all together. Once everything is in order, the guide collects everything and sends us back to our rooms.

The Rest of the Time in Shandong Province

Jan 19th

Today is a sight-seeing day. We make a short outing to Daming Lake Park. It is a beautiful walk with amusement rides. It is a large park. Even though very few people are in the park, all off the rides are fully staffed. This is amazing to me because in the US, nothing is ever open in the off season. We ride some bumper cars, a small ferris wheel and a few other things. We feed some white pigeons and it is the boys' favorite. We feed the pigeons at the beginning and end of the trip. We stop in a snack shop and get a hot dog on a stick (a favorite of both boys) and some hot tea and instant coffee. Since this is an outside activity and it's still cold, we make this a pretty short visit.

Our Chinese friend and Rob's colleague, Sunny, is able to join us for the next three days. She is very helpful in the hotel since she can speak Chinese. She also finds a lot of food that Ethan likes that I wouldn't think to try. She has a son almost the exact same age, so she sings and plays games. I notice that Ethan will clap after she sings to him. He loves to clap and cheer, something that he continues to do when he is pleased. Sunny is Ethan's Chinese aunt. She can translate his 2 year-old Chinese for us and tell us when he's just babbling. She is making everything easier. Yay!

We go back to the expensive mall. Sunny buys Ethan a coat because Chinese coats are heavier, usually filled with down, and our "heavy coat" is not warm enough for these cold outdoor adventures. She also buys him some shoes; we choose insulated Crocs because his foot is hard to fit. For lunch, we have Korean barbeque. You grill your food in the middle of the table.

We have dinner at the restaurant that night.

Jan 20th
The next day, Rob and Sunny are going to tour a plant who is a supplier. I decide to spend the day in the room with the boys. Ethan is still clinging to Rob and I think some time alone will help him get used to me. Jackson is also tired so I'm ready for a slower day. It ends up being just wonderful. Ethan watches Jackson interact with me and follows along. When Jackson climbs on my lap, Ethan sits there, too. When Jackson gave me a kiss on the cheek, Ethan did, too! He made a loud "MMMHHH." Ooh! It was great! He can blow kisses, too. It is a very happy day to just play and be together.

For lunch, we eat left-overs. Jackson has a bowl of insant noodles and discovers it's a favorite. He eats this often for the rest of the trip. Anytime we would go to a convenience store, he would pick up a bowl for "later." He is clearly tired of the Chinese fare we are getting in the restaurants. It's like he's on overload with the food. We have a nice nap in the afteroon and Rob returns before dinner. Once BaBa is back, he's still preferred, but I have a lot of hope that I will be just as comforting to Ethan in the future.

Jan 21st--Flying to Guangzhou

This is our last day in Shandong. We have to pick up Ethan's passport and head to the airport. Sunny has watched the video from Gotcha Day and given us really important information. Ethan has a nickname. His Chinese name is GuoQiang, meaning strong country. The nannies called him Qiangze. It's like Kwanza but with Ch in the front. We've been calling him GuoQiang over and over, trying to get him to recognize it. We thought we just couldn't pronounce it correctly. Once we started calling him Qiangze, he responds! This makes a huge difference. So it's Qiangze or Qiangze-Ethan for most of the trip and about week after we get home.

At lunch in the restaurant, the manager wants to take our picture. He especially loves Jackson. For the entire trip people come up to Jackson, touch his face and say, "He's so handsome." Jackson doesn't know what to make of it. Finally, on this day, we explain that they admire him and want to practice English, especially the children who meet him. He feels more comfortable with it and smiles warmly. He's better with it the rest of the trip because it happens over and over.

We say goodbye to Sunny and head to pick up the passport and on to the airport. Once we are on the flight, there are about 5 adopting families flying to GZ. It's beautiful to see all of these children with their parents. One boy was really memorable. He is 10 and deaf. His dad is deaf and mom is fluent in sign. He was not taught to sign in the orphanage. His eyes just had this wonder because he was with people who were speaking to him. He was already signing and had picked up a lot of language the first week. I can't imagine being trapped with a wordless world for ten years. It was just so beautiful. Ethan is happy with Rob for the flight. He sits on his lap and snacks or plays. He falls asleep towards the end of the flight. Jackson has found a friend his age adn they watch movies during the flight.

Finally, we land in GZ! We get to shed some of our layers. Hooray!

The Two Hardest Days

Civil Affairs

Ethan begins to warm up to us. He is comfortable with Jackson and Rob can coax a smile out of him. Breakfast is fun because I'm looking for food that he likes. He likes everything! He likes fruit, eggs and something that looks like watery grits. We have paperwork to do in two offices today. I put Ethan in a baby wrap, one I've used for my kids and toddlers and he's happy to be close. I'm sure he will soon be too restless for this; afterall he is two and most two year-olds want their freedom, but he's okay with it for now. Once we get to the Civil Affairs office the orphanage director meets us as soon as the door opens. She is very glad to see GuoQiang and wrestles him from the wrap. He's a bit tangled up and I'm very surprised. While we wait to do the paperwork (about one hour), she is totally in charge of Ethan. I'm consoling myself saying, "We get to have him forever," but later I'm worried that she's interuppting the bonding process. But, I do get to see some of the games she plays with him and it's nice to see his personality. It's so happy and playful.

We check and re-check the paperwork. We have to make one change and everything has to be re-typed again. Once it is finished, we have an official adoption certificate. The woman who has overseen it says, "You are officially his parents. Congratulations!"

When we begin to leave to go do some other paperwork, the director tries to take Ethan with her in her car. I'm getting Jackson settled in the van and begin to protest! The Civil Affairs officer says no, she can't take him and I'm so relieved. Now, I am offically freaked out. I'm just too tired and emotionally spent to think rationally. I was really afraid that she would take him back! Now that seems really silly, but I was overspent. After the second appointment where we kept Ethan closer to us, he is upset to see her leave, but we can console him and he's not angry like he was the day before.

We go to a mall with a lot of American stores. They have a Crocs store, Old Navy, Disney and several nice restaurants. We treat Jackson to KFC. Rob and I don't eat at KFC at home anymore (since losing weight and being healthier), but something familar was welcome. The fast food restaurants have picture menus. Ordering is no problem because all you have to do is point to what you want. The prices in the mall are along the lines of American so I'm not too impressed. I was hoping for cheap stuff. We find a department store in the basement, similar to a Target and buy a stroller, pajamas and sippy cups. Ethan really needs shoes because his are several sizes too small and bruising his feet, but they don't have his size.

After a short walk back to the hotel, about 10 minutes, we are ready for bed. It's another day when we are really exhausted.

Linyi City

I knew this would be a hard day. We have a four hour drive to the city of the orphange. Driving in China is quite an experience. Many people drive on the shoulder as if it is a lane. Passing across a double yellow on a large highway is acceptable. Speed limits? I'm not sure they have them. I have never been in a car driving so fast, even when Rob was in high school! That's saying something for those of you who knew my husband in his younger days :) At one point, the road was under construction. We drove around on a gravel road, over some concrete blocks. It was very different. The scenery was very pretty. The mountains are beautiful but covered with pollution. On our first trip to China, friends called it "fog with smell." Along the highway, we drove by some very poor villages.

Linyi is a big city, but not as clean and new as Beijing. Everything seemed to be falling apart. I can't describe it exactly. We had hot pot for lunch, an individual pot of water, kind of like fondue but boiling water or broth. You put your own vegetables and meat in to cook. Once we got the hot pots going, the room got really warm and I was glad for that. It was very good. We are enjoying Ethan today. We have had a long time in the car together. He's very attached to Rob this day.

After lunch, we have a hard time finding the police station. Evidently, they have a new building somewhere else. So, we begin driving to a different part of the city. Once we arrive, both boys have fallen asleep. Rob gets out of the van holding sleeping Ethan. The director comes up and grabs him from his arms. The poor little guy falls asleep in Daddy's arms and wakes up back with his nanny. Now, I'm more than annoyed. I am sincerely glad that she is attached to our son and it has made his transition easier in the long run, but I think it would be good for him to get the impression that we are okay to be with. At the police station, we apply for Ethan's Chinese passport, something we need before we can go on to Ghaungzhou. At this point, I am so ready to leave Shandong.

After we finish the paperwork, the director tries to sneak away from Ethan so that he won't cry. This is the last goodbye. Rob has always had a thing about sneaking out. When all of our kids were little and it's mom's turn to go to the store and get out for the morning, I prefer to sneak away and not hear the crying. Rob always insists that he stand in the driveway and wave goodbye. He doesn't think people should disappear. So, Rob and Ethan stand outside the police station and wave goodbye. When we get back in the van, Ethan is emotionally exhausted. I can see in his eyes that he is confused and sad. It hurts me so much to see it. This was the hardest day, not just because of the drive, but because of Ethan's grief. He sleeps the rest of the way home and all night. My heart is breaking for him.

Gotcha Day!

We had a long morning to eat breakfast and wait...and wait. Rob and I sat in chairs in the room just looking at each other. There wasn't much to say. Jackson was playing the computer and we were just wanting the time to pass. Rob said that I finally understood what labor was like for him. He couldn't DO anything, just wait. He finally convinced me to take a walk. A street market was a short distance away, so we walked. The vendors had food, produce and butchered meat as well as some live meat. The produce all looked so good. I really got hooked on the baby bok choy. We bought a huge bunch of bananas for a few cents. We also had some small citrus fruit, you eat peel and all. Yes, we all ate the fruit, but we were sure to wash it with the boiled water and dry it thoroughly. I never got sick from the fruit.

When we returned, we met our guide in the lobby of the hotel and continued to wait some more. About 2:30, Ethan, 2 nannies, the director and a driver walked through the door and towards us. He was shy at first and we gave him some toys. Overall, he didn't want to come to us. Jackson was really upset because he said, "Ethan didn't want us." I explained that he just doesn't know us yet. Jackson and I went up to the room to get the gifts and it gave me a chance to calm Jackson. When we went back down, the guide took Ethan from the director and handed him to me. The nannies were really crying and I wasn't prepared for that. They said that he was the favorite and very naughty, maybe hard for us. There was a flurry of papers and I had no chance to ask my list of questions. He was kicking and screaming and we headed to the room. He's 2 and very strong! Poor fella! I felt so bad for him and for me. After a few minutes in the room, we went to have our family picture made for the adoption certificate.

By the time we went back to the room, about 5:00, Ethan was exhausted. He laid down on the floor and slept. We were afraid to move him. Jackson went to bed, too and we had a strange couple of hours of quiet. Now, I know that sleep is Ethan's reaction to any difficult day. He just seems to withdraw and sleep. He certainly did sleep a lot the first three days we had him. But for this first day, Rob and I sat on the floor and put our hands on his back and prayed and wept. It was such a relief and so endearing. It is a precious moment from our trip that I will never forget.

When the boys woke up, Rob went to the street market and got us a feast for $3.50. He got water, milk in a box for Ethan, meatballs, saucy vegetables. I'm not sure what the meat was, but the vendor laughed when Rob bought it. Well, whatever it was, it was good and we all ate it. Not long after eating, Ethan had his first bath. He was more comfortable with Rob, so he bundled him up in a towel and dressed him in pajamas. He laid him in the portable crib and Ethan put his thumb in his mouth, rolled over and went to sleep. Then, we all went to bed and slept until morning. What a day!

Touring Beijing

Jan 15th

I had a great plan for the day we were in Beijing. I planned a low-key day resting in the hotel until our evening flight. When we arrived, I thought I'd tag along on the tour of Beijing for the day. When everyone else went to dinner, I would just head for the airport. So, I was very ambitious and changed the plans. This would have been great on a warm spring day. Touring Beijing in mid-January is very cold.
Also, the American idea of layering is a turtle neck, sweater and coat. The Chinese definition of laying is 4 to 5 thick layers.

Jackson and I were not dressed to do outside tours in 10 below weather. So, we are walking through Tienamen Square and the Forbidden City. Jackson is miserable. He screams. I HATE IT HERE. I WANT TO GO HOME. We are stuck in a tour and there wasn't much to do except carry him. Finally, it warmed up enough that he was excited to be in the Forbidden City. He pretended to be a secret ninja and took a lot of pictures. Thankfully, by 11:00 AM, he's enjoying the tour. We went to lunch at a jade factory and had a "tour" which was just marketing. This wasn't very kid-friendly, so Jackson and I watched the Koi in a nice fountain at the entrance. After lunch we went to the Great Wall, but now Jackson is really tired because of the time change and he sleeps in the bus. We took a picture in front of the Great Wall, but neither of us wanted to climb up to the tower on a windy day. I think I'll just go back someday with Rob on a nice spring or fall day. At that point, Jackson and I were just exhausted. A driver met the bus and took us to the airport.

Happy reunion. Rob was waiting for us at the gate. I was so relieved to see him! He got me a sandwich and a Diet Coke (only 35 cents for the drink) and it was great. Jackson was asleep again, woke up long enough to greet Daddy and then slept in the gate, on the flight and to the hotel.

Once we landed in Ji Nan, we were off to the hotel. It was very business oriented, lots of KTV, little English and not very clean. This would be home for a week. The room was really smoky, but the air pollution looked worse, so I didn't open the window the first few days. Eventually, I decided the air pollution was better than the smoke and aired out the room. I know this wasn't the best Ji Nan has to offer. Rob has work in Shandong province, and I've stayed in much nicer places. It seemed impossible to change hotels, so we were just stuck. Of course, I'm not expecting a vacation, and once I have Ethan in my arms, I won't care.

Optimism and Adrenaline

Jan 12--Off to the Airport

We are spending the night in a hotel near the airport. I wouldn't consider it, except for the ice and the 7:30 flight. I have to admit that it's nice to have the van parked and my bags packed. I have to get up at 4:30 AM, but I won't sleep anyway. It's only 24 hours away!

The last song on the radio before I left the van was SC Chapman's I'm Diving In, so here I go, off to China! My friend Karen told me to have faith and not fear, so that's what I'm holding onto right now. The panic is just under the surface.

I'm thinking about how everything will change for Ethan. Everything that's been familiar to him will change. He'll be ripped away from his familiar to go with strangers. I can't wait to meet him, but he has no idea what's about to happen.

Jan 13th-- On the Airplane

We arrived at 5:15 and got boarding passes. It took five bins and 3 bags through security. I had to remove my shoes and Jackson's shoes, shed the coats, put the liquids in my 2 allowed baggies on the line, get out the laptop etc. No one wanted to be behind us. Going through security with a 5 year old was challenging. US Air didn't ticket us correctly, issuing a paper ticket instead of an e-ticket boarding pass. Even though we were over 2 hours early, we were pulled from the loading ramp and had to go change the pass. I was angry and panicked! I had been so afraid I'd miss the SF flight because of delay, not because of incompetence. We were the last ones on the plane, but we made it. Jackson watched Wonder Pets the entire flight all 5 and half hours!

The second flight was longer. After about 3 hours, Jackson thought we would go upstairs (to business class) and find a bed and sleep. I had been telling him that we would need to sleep for the last part of the flight. When he found out there was no bed waiting for him, he had a full meltdown, laying down in the aisle and crying. I was terribly embarrassed, but a few Chinese grandmothers close by chuckled and said, "Oh he so fussy. He so tired." After that, he did sleep for the rest of the flight. 27 hours after we left our hotel room in Charlotte, we were in our hotel in Beijing, exhausted.

Home Again!

So, we are home. I am slowly getting back into the routine. I love just being at home and playing with all of my children. I love watching the oldest three get to know Ethan. My three oldest have all come to me and said it's so much better to get a little brother who can already play with them, no endless crying, constant feeding and constant quiet. I admit that I never considered this. Ethan is doing great! He's so funny and playful. Every day he gets more affectionate. I kept a diary in China, and I'm planning to post the days I was gone, but for now, here's more info.

Ethan's Size: 18 months
Ethan's Weight: 26 pounds ( I don't know how the "latest" update was so wrong)
Ethan's favorite food: watermelon and milk, but he eats most everything
Ethan's least favorite food: applesauce
Ethan's favorite activity: zooming around the house in the red coupe
Ethan's favorite thing: his shoes, sometimes he sleeps with them
Ethan's least favorite thing: a bath, ooh he hates them
Words he knows: no, bye-bye, cracker, uh-oh, shoe
Nickname in China: Qiangze== rhymes with Kwanza, but Cha in the front
Mom's favorite memory: His first piece of cakeh
Cutest thing he does: cuts his eyes at me and grins
Mom's favorite: his eyes


He's a very polite boy. He says thank-you in Chinese when I hand him something. He's responding to Ethan now. Zach spent about 10 minutes pointing to Ethan and Zach back and forth until he got it. Zach now thinks he's brilliant. He told me in a why-didn't-you-think-of-it tone.

I'm so in love with him! I'm just bursting with love for all of my kiddos right now. So blessed!

1 Day To Go! Packing Up

As you can see, we are packed and ready to go. The sun is shining and the ice is melting. Flying out early tomorrow morning!

We are almost there, Ethan.

2 Days and Counting! Rob Goes to the Opera--Jan is Iced In

I leave in 2 days! I can hardly believe it. Yesterday seemed to drag by. Today is the same. Rob was able to go to the opera in Jiangzu. He is the only American in the audience and the opera is in the local dialect. Even his collegue can't understand it.

I am looking at the glaze thicken on the road. I don't know how my flight will leave on Thursday. It's not going to get any warmer. I'm a little bit panicked by it. The snow didn't bother me yesterday. I lived in Blacksburg long enought to respectfully navigate in the snow, but no one with any sense gets out in the ice.

My plan is to drive in the warmest part of the day tomorrow, spend the night in Charlotte and take a shuttle Thursday morning. My flight is at 7:35, so I don't really want to be scraping my van at 4:00AM.

I've confirmed my flight to Beijing. I've printed out all of the papers I need. I've packed--I just have to squeeze those tennis shoes into my bag. I even cleaned the refrigerator. All that is left is more house cleaning and packing the older children for Marmie and PaPa's house.

Breathe! Breathe! I'll be okay! Really??

6 Days and Counting--Updates!

I got updated sizing and pictures today!

Ethan is almost 36 inches tall, 33 pounds and his foot is 5 and 1/2 inches long. That puts him right between 2T and 3T and about a 7 shoe. I think most of the clothes I bought for him will fit. I have a few 24 months sizes I'll add to the orphanage gift. I have a set of socks that are definately too small, but I have already packed those in the other suitcase, the one that is already in China.

I guess he's sleeping in a crib. That's one question answered.

If you were reading my blog yesterday, my carry-on weighed in at 27 pounds, 5 over! The limit in China is less than international. I'm not sure what to do about that, but I'll think on it. I can't think of anything obvious to leave behind.

One Week to Go! What's in Jan's Carry-On?

So, I'm packing (or repacking) my carry-on bag today. Since I already sent one bag to China with Rob last week, I put everything else in my carry-on. I knew I wouldn't remember what I sent ahead, so I had to see everything I needed. I didn't think to take pictures. And yes, I have forgotten what I packed in that bag. I vaguely remember packing all of the gifts, warm clothes and swim suits for GZ and clothes for Ethan. I packed a diaper bag and meds for every ailment any child has ever had just in case.

Here's what I know I have in my carry-on bag:

1 warm change of clothes for Jan

1 pair of socks

sweatsuit and light pjs for Jan

a bathing suit coverup to double as a robe

underwear for Jan--Yes, I put it in a ziplock bag so that an unknown person in customs won't touch them

meds and vitamins

makeup and toiletries

kleenex

snacks--hopefully enough until we get to GZ. There is plenty of western food for Jackson in GZ.

disposable bibs

diapers

2 outfits for Ethan

pjs for Ethan

socks for Ethan

1 warm change of clothes for Jackson

underwear for Jackson

socks for Jackson

blanket--the special knitted one from Blacksburg that all of my babies have loved

IMPORTANT adoption papers

passports

gum

toys

raincoats--light hiking ones

Dickens novels for the airplane IF Jackson sleeps and I get to read

red envelopes

Dramamine--I'm no supermom

I can't forget the camera!!

Look at these sweet shirts I bought for the younger brothers. One says Big brother. The other says Little brother. I can't wait for that picture.

New Year Blessings

Happy New Years! I usually dread New Year's Day. It's the anniversary of my father's death (nine years now) and it usually approaches with such despair and dread. God has given me a new something to celebrate in January, a Gotcha Day. It looks like it will be Jan 16th. Now, I'll have a little special celebration to plan for after Christmas every year. I had so wanted to be in China before Christmas, but as usual, this works out so much better.

Rob says that it is cold, very cold. The heat is not usually left on in the hotel room during the day, though he made a special request and was accommodated. I'm afraid that our pjs won't be warm enough in Shandong, so I'm going to buy some warmer pjs for me and Ethan. LOL, another reason to go shopping!! Jackson has some warm ones I can pack, along with some lighter ones he can wear underneath.

Overall, I'm finalizing plans for the children staying home, (and our furry friends, too). I'm so ready to go! Only 9 more days!